Trying to find a BMSC rideout

[davetheoldmod]

Not being able to join the rideout due to needing a new petrol tap, the Mem' sahib suggested we drive in our Escort Cabriolet to meet the boys at Portishead. Great said I, so off we went. Arrived at Portishead Marina, had cup of tea and toast ( she paid !) and waited to hear 2 strokes in abundance...waited..waited... so I suggest...they may be at Clevedon..so off we go...just going down Clevedon High Street and whats coming other way ?? loads of mods on scoots with Jimbo leading.. didnt hoot as wanted to do surprise so managed to turn around and then got behind aged driver doing 22mph, haired back ( at 27mph) to marina....no Bristol mods went back to clevedon.. no sight of anyone, so decided to return to Burnham and rang Jim who was on his 5th pint at Clapton. Moral of story..........................stay in bed on sunday morning, seriously..hope you had good ride, see you soon

[Chris TV175]

twas a good ride out

Chris

[Colin]

Yeah ! I saw you, we all hid in the hedge and watched you go by !

[davetheoldmod]

Colin......yes obviously...... Matron said you left this morning without taking your medication ( Viagra I believe ) tried to get it to you in Clevedon High Street but you went past in a sort of daze...call me and will send it Royal Mail

[Colin]

Dave,I blame Jim,for the reason we couldnt be found,someone suggested a beer ,and Jim rolled off 16 pubs he frequents,and I can tell you now after 7
we ended up carrying him home,his scoot is in the ditch somewhere just outside Gordano services. God knows what his missus is goin say.

[Jim]

Where am I?? What happened?? Where's my scoot??

The last thing I remember is challenging those nice guys from the rugby club to a beer shooting competition!

And why have I got a black eye, and I'm wearing women's clothing-and why is there a goat here?? what the hell happened??

[Colin]

Be fair Jim,you were wearing womens clothing when met up at the Arno this morning.

[Jim]

Oh yeah, that's right- it's slowly coming back to me now, after that drinking match with the rugby club blokes, I remember saying to those hells angels that I thought there motorbikes looked a bit gay, and were they ever in the Village People- I think that's where the black eye must've happened!

[Norm the Newsletter]

bitterly regret putting wall paper before scoot ..................
sounds like a bit of a Carry on Scooting day.
next time
N

very amusing email trail tho

[Chris TV175]

Norm

more like "Last of the Summer Wine" IMO..............

[Jim]

Right- the nice nurse has just explained everything to me! I'm in a ward at the BRI- the womens clothes I thought I was wearing is infact a surgical gown. Who else did I insult- cuz I've just had an operation to have a stadium mirror and stem (new old stock as well!) surgically removed from my rectum! Apparantly they're keeping me in overnight, and tomorrow they're going back in to try and retreive a matching pair of noteks! Ouch!!

[davetheoldmod]

Thank God for SX's that need repair......I can see I missed a lot by taking the wrong turning, Jim if that mirror and stem is still in good condition, would be interested as I dont have enough on the SX at moment ( just found another space)by the way.....dont eat BRI food, sets you back a week. Colin...tablets sent first class.

[Dave Merchant]

Thats what i like about you lot, your raving BONKERS.

Looks like i missed a great ride out.


Keep smiling

Dave M

[Colin]

Let me tell you boys this is the strangest rideout Ive ever been on ! You wont get the whole truth,because most of the members present are to afraid to talk about it.
I arrived at the Arno about 11am ,and it was fairly obvious by the smell of Strawberry 2 Stroke oil it was goin be a,-well-funny sort of rideout. Jim was there on Lacarno Night,showing off as usual by urinating into the dock from the Cafe entrance,after 6 coffees each and a bag of pork scratchings,we departed via park street. Bugger me ! we hadn't gone 2 miles when Jim remembered he'd booked a Pink rinse in "Cut n Curl " in Whiteladies road.
An hour later. ( Although I ave to admit his hair looked nice.) We lacquered
his helmet back on and departed at breakneckpace along the Ashton by pass. Now my Scoot is not slow,but let me say,6 Lambrettas passed me like I was a pothole, I thought OK boys if you want a burn-up Im yer man,talk about speed, by the time we'd reached Nailsea, the speedo Id bought from Bernie had melted. ( Bernie, Clive said you always give a years warranty ? ) It cost me 12 quid.
Anyway everyone eventually slowed down due to a Police radar trap,and only 4 of us got caught,3 for speeding,and 1 for exposing himself.
We entered Clevedon high street though in true BMSC style,Jim leading ,knawing a piece of Drizzle cake, and the rest of us shouting abuse and blowing the airhorns. Anyway we parked up by the bandstand to let the locals know they were in the presence of TV personalities ,and 2 bike families. ( Jims idea. ) Well within 10 minutes we were fighting at least 60 Hells Angels from Abertillery on the Prom,5 of lads ended up in hospital,but weve got 4 Harley badges and a twin exhaust for sale on e bay this week. We decided to follow Jim out of Clevedon as he knows all the good pubs,and Christ we were riding through the Town Centre,when this young bird and an old git dressed in a dodgy striped jacket driving an escort convertable shouted out something about wanting to join us,so I let him ave it with the twin exhaust right between the legs,he shouted something about tablets,but I knew Jim had over a 100 blues on him so I told the bloke to sod off. Well of course being an Escort 1600 it was no match for our scoots,we eventually lost em thank God in Gordano,rode to a pub called the Black Pig or something like that. It transpired that Jim was an Ex Alkie and the smell of some rough was just to much for him,he downed 6 pints before I got served and crashed on the way home. The Rest is History ! HONEST !

[davetheoldmod]

Dave, I know by the record you have only done 4 posts, but they are 4 true gems and your last post is the most apt, yes....we are all bonkers which is why we all get on together because if we fall out with each other, we ( due to early Alzheimers) within 10 seconds are great mates again, we have memories like Goldfish, which is why me and the young bint in the escort couldnt catch up with the boys on Sunday. Anyway, I must now reveal that I am Colins carer and needed to catch up with him as his catheter had fallen out and the young bint in question was Matron, who although she was in my wifes car,with uniform on and showing her black seamed stocking tops on exiting the car, was determined to return Colin to some form of comfort....of course he hid in a hedge...matron is demanding. Luckily for me there is a layby near the Avon and Somerset Constabulary and as they were laying speedtraps for silly scooterists, I had a nice lay. I am not afraid to talk about it because undercover I work for THE NEWS OF THE WORLD.....that has made some of you s**t yourself, hasnt it. Colin will get away with a suspended sentence as I will get him a good brief but anyone else will have to make private arrangements with me in Daphne's Massage Parlour ( cubicle 2). My lud...I rest my case